HOW DOES IT SOUND TO MOVE ABROAD WHEN YOU DO NOT KNOW WHETHER YOU WANT IT?
As a child, how did you dream your life as an adult? Nowadays I’m thinking about this question and I can’t find one correct answer. Was I planning to step up career ladder, did I see myself in a adventurous life or did I imagine myself having a perfect family? Regardless of what my answer is, each of us had dreams but few of us made them real.
To be honest, I don’t remember my childhood dreams but I’m completely sure what I dream for my life after 30. So let’s start with my journey. While you are reading it, don’t forget every person is unique and everyone’s path is different.
If I remember correctly, it was around 4 years ago, my new boyfriend (now love of my life) had a desire to live abroad and had a chance to interview with a german company and boom😩he had been offered a good position. Yeah, this means that we must not just live separetely but also live in different lives, hours, environment. In other words, it was a time to take it or leave it. We needed to decide what we do. I was overthinking and I couldn’t put out of my mind that we would break up when he moved abroad. However, nothing happened as I thought. Conversely, our distance relationship went to a different dimension. It was getting richer and deeper while sharing long Facetime calls, planning our visits and spending more times on our lives online.
After a certain time, we started to think about living abroad together but I wasn’t sure to start everything from stratch. You know, I had excuses such as that I had a good position in my company, environment and most importantly economical freedoom in Istanbul. Moving to Munich for me meant leaving behind everything I have. At that time I was 29 years old. No matter what people consider about turning the page, I was afraid without knowing what I was afraid of. (I mean, maybe not getting a satifying job, losing my precious freedoom or not being able to adapt to German culture). Don’t laugh at me, the last part is really hard:). I think I just focused on negative sides of moving to Munich and these bad examples directed me to think “why don’t I want to move abroad?”
Event though I had many questions in my mind, the only thing I was sure was that I loved my boyfriend. Beside that, in Turkey, moving abroad was getting more and more popular. People were trying to find out possible ways to run away without looking back due to political and economical problems. Don’t get me wrong, I have been interested in living in europian cities but when it comes to deciding, I didn’t want to jump on the bandwagon that seems adventagous for Turkish people. Also, I was in two minds, I spent most of my time contemplating what the cons and pros are. To be honest, so many times in front of the mirror I was trying to say that I have enough courage to make this decision, that I shouldn’t be afraid. I always had a life I could turn back to or people I could trust. I kept repeating to myself “you can do it”.
Do you wonder how long my psychological war in my mind lasted? It took more than 2 years guys, isn’t it a long time? This is such a long period that you can change your career path or learn a new language or play an instrument very well.
Looking back at those years, I often think of what I would change if I could do it all over again. Now I’m aware of all steps I was forced myself past. All in all, there is no ideal time to change your habits, culture or country. After my decision, my boyfriend and I began saving our money and planning our future. At the end of the day a penny saved is a penny earned. (This action is my first tip for someone who wants to change their life because It is not clear what costs will be faced when).
In a nutshell, the question on my mind was “why don’t I want to move abroad?” more than “do I want to live abroad?” It is confusing enough, isn’t it? Focusing on just unfavourable thoughts caused to postpone my all plans. Now I realize that taking risks after 30s might be better than taking risks in 20s because in my humble opinion, you didn’t have enough life and professional experience in 20s. It takes time to develop awareness about life, relationships and business. circle. I accept that making a fresh start in 30s seems pretty compelling but if you are ready, nothing can stand in your way. Sometimes the obvious isn’t so seeable and you have to make it visible in your mind.
And to end with my favorite quote:
Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. (Mark Twain)
Thanks for reading, Take care, Tschüss!